Sofia after the vacation: Let’s all swear, panic and freak out

Written by on August 19, 2017 in Leisure - Comments Off on Sofia after the vacation: Let’s all swear, panic and freak out

During the past two months, many Sofia residents, namely those who could afford it, were slurping Gin Tonic at the pool in Mykonos, licking creamy straciatella ice cream during nice walks in Venice, chewing juicy steaks at cozy restaurants in Sardinia, and some probably poured Heineken down their throats in Key West.

It is time to return. There is no place like home, right? Everyone will be glad to see everyone else, as long as those encounters do not happen on what Sofia calls streets. During the absence of virtually everyone, the traffic in Sofia was acceptable. This will change within two weeks, at the end of the month. Swearing, rude gestures and burnt rubber will be back on the agenda.

But, you know what? I enjoy it. The chaos on the asphalt, which seems more like Swiss cheese in this city, gives us something to complain about. Peace and quite is boring. To hell with it.

Let’s cut each other off on Boulevard Vassil Levski, let’s try to be the first in line, at the red light, and the first one to speed off on green. Let’s get back into those dangerous maneuvers, during which we will waste gasoline and tire rubber, just to be two meters ahead of that imbecile behind us.

Traffic jams in Sofia? Of course not.

Oh no, there is nothing to worry about. Since the refurbishment of Boulevard Dondukov will take until the end of October, Boulevard Slivnitsa and Boulevard Czar Osvoboditel will be a terrible mess. The Metro construction site at the intersection of Boulevards Praga and Pencho Slavejkov will only be there for another two years and strain our patience every single day.

Oh, Tsarigradsko Chaussee? Yes, we can hardly wait to get stuck on that one at 09:00 o’clock in the morning. You are in a hurry? That is what bus lanes are for. And yes, Boulevard Evlogi i Hristo Georgiev, our favourite, will finally be enjoyable again, at the intersection with Boulevard Dragan Tsankov. Get used to wasting 30 minutes in that usual traffic jam over there, while fighting off those windshield washers nobody hired.

Let’s not forget the public transport either. It feels great to be squeezed by 120 passengers, in a trolley bus built for 65 people. The closer we are to our fellow Sofiots, the more intimate this experience will be. The latter applies even more if the person squeezing you on tram no. 22 just just had salad with an exaggerated amount of garlic. Let’s make sure we are the ones who had that salad.

Sure, Sofia is not Tokyo. But it does feel like Beijing a lot, at “Orlov Most”, or like Mexico City, on Boulevard Slivnitsa. Let’s all swear, panic and freak out.

An earlier version of this piece was previously published in F&F Magazine, which is now part of The Sofia Globe. Photos by Imanuel Marcus.



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