The Fake News Phenomenon: Squirrels and Polka Dancers are Suing Mary Poppins

Written by on December 14, 2016 in Leisure, Serious & Undisputable - No comments

Politicians and NGOs in several countries on two continents are alarmed by the influence so-called fake news might have on elections and referenda.

Some believe, Britons might not have voted for maccaroni and baked cheese for dinner, but t-bone steaks with Brussels sprouts instead, had there not been fake news. In the United States, critics say the fact that Hillary Rodham Clinton was elected the first female President, had to do with so-called fake news as well.

But sane media like this one are not being distracted by the fake news wave. Instead, they concentrate on providing accurate news.

President Elect Clinton just picked Mary Poppins as her Secretary of State, Bill O’Reilly as her Press Secretary and Humpty Dumpty as a special envoy for border walls.

At the same time, all over the English-speaking world, experts have argued the plural form of referendum was referendums, rather than referenda. When called by phone, the chairman of the International League for the Salvation of the Language (ILSL) stated: “Check your grammar, imbeciles!”

In other news today, pop singer Chris Rea and the band Dire Straits announced a merger. The new band name will be Diarrhea. Iron Maiden and Smokie will merge as well (Iron Smokie), while the latest merger of Kellogg’s (“Rice Crispies”) and Lockheed Martin (“F-22 Raptor”) was annulled. “The cheerios were all over the instruments after the sonic boom”, a spokesman said. “And they were already digested.”

In the meantime, scientists have announced a sensational invention. The device will revolutionize the automotive industry. It is a blinking light, which shows other drivers which direction the user will take next. Of course, the user will have to switch in on, in order for it to work.

And finally, psychologists have found out men are actually just as good at multitasking as women. The other day they found a guy who was consuming beer from a can while driving an old Chevy Nova in reverse, having a conversation with his ex-girlfriend on his Samsung S6 Edge (Silver) and cutting his toe nails, all at the same time.

By Imanuel Marcus

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