Temperatures in Bulgaria to Slump: “Great, if you are a Moose”

Written by on October 2, 2016 in Bulgaria, Miscellaneous - No comments

Hell! For the first time since April, temperatures will not just slump into the 1-digit range, but to the lowest 1-digit range. It is starting. Dammit! The lowest temperatures this week, just above the freezing point, will be reached this coming Thursday night. So, to all deniers, who are trying to believe they live in southern California, let’s forget about it. It’s time to freeze our butts off.

The forecasters most Bulgarians use online usually give us the exact opposite of what is actually going to happen, when it comes to good weather news. But they are always alarmingly accurate regarding bad news.

Let’s get into specifics: No complaints today. They are announcing 26 degrees and some harmless clouds. Enjoy it. Tomorrow, on Monday, October 3rd, it will be raining like hell, at an acceptable 25 degrees. On Tuesday, it will be crappy, wet and windy, and on Wednesday hell will finally freeze over. Then, on Thursday night, one single degree. Let’s quote the American comedian Lewis Black: “Great, if you are a moose. If you got fur on your nuts, it will be a (f….) festival.”

The local heating company in Sofia, “Toplofikatzia”, will probably make people freeze for a few days, as usual, before releasing some heat. And then they will overcharge most of us, while celebrating themselves as the big saviour.

Yes, those skiing enthusiasts couldn’t be happier, since we are moving closer to their great days. Whatever they want. I’m moving to Riyadh right now.

By Imanuel Marcus



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