Bold project in Sofia: NDK to be knocked down and replaced

Written by on April 1, 2017 in Leisure - Comments Off on Bold project in Sofia: NDK to be knocked down and replaced

Sofia will lose one of its most recognizable landmarks. The National Palace of Culture, built in 1980, will be knocked down and replaced by a modern building. The new “NDK 2.0” (see computer-generated picture above) will serve the same purpose as the old one, which is hosting cultural events of all kinds. The difference is that the new NDK will actually beautify the city of Sofia.

At the municipality, champagne bottles were opened, in order to celebrate the decision for NDK 2.0. Mayor Yordanka Fandakova said at a press conference, it was “high time to get rid of that bunker. That old shoe box makes me sick.”

NDK 2.0 was designed by star architect Antonio Ferraro. “It took me 10 minutes”, he said. “The new building has a fascinating shape, while looking lighter. It is definitely a lot easier to look at than that cube.”

This is what the new administration offices will look like, inside NDK 2.0.

The Ministry of Culture and Sofia Municipality have made their decisions regarding the interior as well. NDK 2.0 will have four halls, the largest of which will accommodate audiences of up to 4,000 people. Only four people will fit into hall no. 4. “We had to leave some room for the administration offices”, ministry spokesman Ivan Ivanov said. “Therefore, hall no. 4 shrunk during the planning process.”

Also, the building will feature a bowling alley, two cafés, a porn movie theater and even a chapel. “This is about diversity. We want to attract people, not bore them”, Ivanov stated.

NDK 2.0 does have a price tag of 192.4 million Leva (some 100 million Euro). During her press conference, Mayor Fandakova said: “This will be the largest and most beautiful NDK ever. And we will make the E.U. pay for it.” In Brussels, nobody knew about the project yet, but the Mayor insisted: “They will pay for it, one way or another. We will squeeze the E.U. like an orange.”

The old NDK will vanish in December.

Sofia Municipality does have a problem though: The old NDK has to be removed first, which is quite a challenge, since the building is extremely stable. All construction firms in Bulgaria declined to even try.

But a solution was found: Chester Haynes, a demolition expert from Houston, will be flown in. He will use a thermobaric bomb to get rid of the old NDK. “It will be a clean kill”, Haynes told this publication on the phone. “They better bring some big brooms. They will need those when I’m done with that (beeeeep) piece of (beeeeep).”

Haynes said, the blast might also affect McDonald’s and the Hilton hotel behind the NDK: “I will probably flatten those buildings too.” Part of Sofia’s city center will be evacuated temporarily, just before the blast.

The removal of the old NDK is set for December 31, 2017 at 11:59 p.m.. That way, hardly anyone will notice the blast. “We don’t want to trigger complaints by neighbours”, a municipality statement said.

As if there weren’t enough challenges already, heretics started complaining about the new NDK. “It looks like a cake. You should call it National palace of Cake”, an MP in Sofia suggested, under the condition of anonymity. “Actually, it resembles a cowpat more than anything else. If they build this thing, I will move to Plovdiv.”

Related article: National Pothole Competition: The best holes in Sofia

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About the Author

Imanuel Marcus is Associate Editor of The Sofia Globe. He is German and lives in Sofia. Contact: imanuelmarcus (at) gmail.com