Trakia Highway: Government Abolishes Speed Limit

Written by on August 14, 2016 in Leisure, Serious & Undisputable - 1 Comment

The Bulgarian government has abolished all speed limits on Trakia Highway between Sofia and Burgas. But drivers need to meet conditions to be eligible for this privilege: They need to be male, their IQs have to be below 75 and their vehicles need to be worth more than 80,000 Euro. In addition, drivers who are either brain-dead or who had their brain amputated, qualify for the special regulation.

At the Ministry of Transport, spokesman Aston Martinov said, the move had become necessary, “since those brainiacs would never understand anything anyway, including traffic rules. Now they can just do whatever they want.” According to Martinov, the exception to the traffic rules will be implemented step by step.

He named five drivers, who will be able to race Trakia Highway as fast as they want, effective retroactively, since 06:00 a.m. this morning. All of them drove faster than 200 km/h on Trakia Highway today, and tried to push law abiding drivers out of the way, even when there was a lot of traffic around them. “Those drivers were chosen, because their self esteem depends on their speed. We want to help citizens, instead of putting a lot of goddamn pressure on them.”

Transport Minister Toyota Corollova already signed the draft law this morning. It will have to pass a parliament vote, which is a foregone conclusion, since only one oppositionist, the socialist Henry Fordov, has rejected the move so far. In defense of his position, he stated: “You are all retarded.”

Back at the ministry, Aston Martinov declined to answer any questions on the government’s latest bold move. Right after the press conference, he jumped into his Jaguar and raced off towards Tsarigradsko Chaussee.

By Imanuel

There is more: Check out how the government deals with potholes.

More satire posts? Check out our satire section entitled “Serious & Undisputable“.

Oh, you want the German version of this article? Here it is.

Lucky bastard: The driver of this M-Class, number plate ...., may now set his own traffic rules.

Lucky bastard: The driver of this M-Class may now set his own traffic rules.

The driver of this S-Class Mercedes, registration CB .... had his brain amputated last Thursday.

The driver of this S-Class Mercedes had his brain amputated last Thursday.

Yet another S-Class driver, registration no. ...., may continue driving like a pig on heat.

Yet another S-Class driver may continue driving like a pig on heat. AMG? Very impressive.

This Cayenne driver, number plate no. ......., suffers from the shrinking brain syndrome. He is good to go.

This Cayenne driver suffers from the shrinking brain syndrome. He is good to go.

The fifth lucky guy: An Audi A7 owner, registration no. ....., with a psychological condition, may drive to his daily shrink meetings at full speed, since this morning.

The fifth lucky guy: An Audi A7 owner, with a psychological condition, may drive to his daily shrink meetings at full speed, since this morning.

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