A task force commissioned by the Bulgarian government two years ago finally finished counting all malls in Sofia. Government spokesperson Magdalena Dimitrova said, the result was satisfactory. According to the data collected, the Bulgarian capital has 2.62 shopping centers per inhabitant, a number which amounts to 3.97 million. But a recount will be necessary, since another 126,802 malls were built since the count started.
The largest mall in Sofia is “Paradise Center”. With almost 22,000 stores, it offers “everything consumers need under one biiiig roof”, Mrs. Dimitrova said. The task force even measured that shopping temple. The result: The total length of all hallways is 75% of the distance between Earth and Moon (0.75 AU, or Astronomical Units).
In a poll, 3,119 inhabitants from Sofia were asked about their opinions regarding malls. 19.4 percent said there weren’t enough of them, 25.1 percent said “What?” and 179 percent replied: “Get out of my way, idiot!”. One polled lady said, she had lost her husband at Paradise Center a month ago. He had wanted to “quickly purchase two liters of milk”, but had returned only this morning, with two liters of spoilt milk and worn-down shoes.
Asked whether this report was satirical, the author just bent over and tied his shoe laces.